The past week has felt like a tiresome birth. Slow and step by step. It has felt like it All needed time. Like it still needs time. Time to move through, to sit with, to listen to, to be birthed from. Now, I feel the soft energy change, slowly. Remarkable how it keeps bringing me back to having to take my time. To go at my own pace. Step by step. To take each step consciously.
A time of in between. No middle of Winter any longer but no true Spring yet either. I can feel the soft jump in my step, my energy, in the Air. My roots feel like they are growing thicker, stronger, more profound. The darkness still surrounding me. Still sometimes scaring me but most of the time feeling more familiar now.
To be with myself through the Cycle. I feel like I keep repeating myself and I guess that’s what I need right now. To remind myself of the importance of presence. Giving myself my own true presence. No excuses, no distractions. To carve out time to sit with myself. Feel my inner being, feel where I need attention. What needs to be heard, touched. To try my hardest at turning quiet and listening to the whispers. And to be with Mama Earth. Through the cold, the rain, the snow. To be present with her. To dance with her softly, fiercely, lovingly. Making it a love filled dance.
To let my hands heal so many parts of me through painting, through playing with clay. I find so much answers, so much silence, so much healing in these acts. They’re extremely sacred to me. I really need to give them the time I feel they truly deserve.
I am learning, I really need to move through the tiredness. Going slow still means moving. To create a love filled dance with the Acts of healing I desire, with being with Mama Earth, with the Cycle. With this shift into another season. A love filled dance with myself. Ever so softly, gently and slowly.
IJsselvrouw 