The dry and warm days finally came after what felt like a long time. As I have said in my previous blog post, since it rained for a couple weeks (straight), I did have time to go on rainy walks, dance, relax a little and dream about the time when we would be able to sleep in our home again and I would have space again in my studio to paint!
During those rainy weeks I went on walks to look for Large Bitter-Cress because I had to do a little talk on this herb for my herbal education. At first I had it confused with another herb simply called Bitter-Cress or ‘Toothworts’. They look a bit similar but the place in which they grow is different plus, Large Bitter-Cress is less common here. Luckily I found it in the end!
While we waited for drier days we were able to wash the ‘inner cover’ of our home. We hung it up in my father’s garage to dry because in there, there was enough space for it plus also, there’s no rain inside. 😉
When the sun finally returned, it felt like it gave me room to breathe. Like a big space to move in was being opened. A feeling that summer brings along for me. Being outside is no longer a bit more difficult either in having to take myself (dragging myself ;)) outside when it is raining or having to wear layer upon layer when it is really cold outside. During summer it is never easier for me to go and be outside. To sit with nature, to be present. Walking alongside the IJssel, or through the woods, alongside creeks, or exploring the Veluwe!
Gray skies have the ability to calm my nervous system, rain has the ability to give me a sense of cleansing. But when they are present for a longer period of time they both also have the ability to dull my senses in a way. Nature is what inspires me and what ignites my desires to create. When it rains, I tend to be inside more and after a while the calming and the cleansing, can flip to becoming dulling. I notice I feel less of a spark to create, whatever it is… Painting, videos, photography, written words, pottery. It makes me long for the sun again which creates such beautiful shadows, for it to warm up my skin, I long for it to ignite sparks within me to flow again, to create again!
When the sun and the warmth returned, it felt like a bit of a puzzle to figure out when we had time from work to build up our home again and also when friends and family had time to help us but not only that, because when the warmth returned, we were also promised thunderstorms, two weekends in a row(!). For a bit I felt like we had to keep on postponing while I was growing more and more impatient. 😉
But even though my patience was being tested, I also was able to really enjoy this time. I can turn to nature, move away from feeling too crowded, of hardly having space to flow freely. Within nature I find all of this. Nature reminds me of the fact that all things take time and that the only thing I can do is to move with it. It reassures me to be, to enjoy, to flow. It inspired me to wake up early and to capture whatever appeared.
Another thing I finally did at the beginning of June, was sow the last seeds I had been wanting to sow for quite some time. I sowed Chamomile, Marigolds, Coriander and Mullein. A bit late but I guess, better late than never!
Around the middle of this month we finally, finally built up our home. Or we… on the day we planned to build up our home I was having painful menstrual cramps so I wasn’t able to help. Which brought up a mix of feelings. Of course I felt bad for not being able to help but along with that it felt strange to, in a sense, not be able to come full circle.
I am very grateful to everyone who helped us! It is a good reminder we cannot do everything alone and by ourselves. Asking for help and receiving help, there’s something very human within all of it. I find it difficult to explain but it makes me feel very humble in a way.
As soon as our home was up again and when I was feeling better again, I immediately wanted to start moving in our things. And that felt so, so good. A feeling of coming home. Placing everything back into its place. Which also was kind of odd because when I moved before, I had to get a feel for where things wanted to be and where they in a way felt like they were in the right spot. Now, I could put everything back into its place where they belonged.
So yes, here we finally are. Our home is set up again. We have our space again. Eik still sleeps at my parents’ place but she seems to enjoy herself. We do not have running water yet and we have been busy with our little garden. We still have enough to do but I feel like we have our room to breathe and that feels wonderful.
Thank you so much for reading. I hope you have had a relaxing weekend!
Lisa ~ Gerdina
IJsselvrouw 