What a dense couple of weeks. They were full of emotion, over-stimulation, exhaustion. My mind has been so full, too full. I am trying to detangle my mind, I am trying to quiet my mind. Somewhere in the last few months I stopped sitting down with myself, a time where I would calm my mind, deeply feel, listen and open my internal eyes if you will. At some point I just stopped for no real reason at all. Maybe I thought the way I live now would bring, what sitting down with myself brought to me then, automatically. It would be the wonderful side effect of living ‘closer to nature’. Surroundings might change but it doesn’t automatically mean I do too. Funny how I didn’t fully realize it at the time. Somehow I had convinced myself that in another place I would miraculously act and feel differently. I guess, that’s not how preset routines work…
I welcome the extra hours of darkness,
in them I find silence, a void for an exhale
space to detangle my mind
When winter comes,
I’ll dance, I’ll celebrate
because it’s the loudest invitation
to become still, to pause,
to exhale
I welcome the extra hours of darkness,
they invite me to become still.
IJsselvrouw 