Here I am yet again. Sitting down, carving out some time for myself to reflect, dive within, to take a plunge and to honor the New Moon.
The New Moon today takes place in my rising sign, Leo and there is a partial solar eclipse today as well. A couple days ago, I got to thinking about the fact that not too long ago the phases of the Moon, the planets moving around us and their influences on us were very unknown to me. About a year and a half ago, I started to pay closer attention to my Moon time and cycle in correspondence with the Moon herself. At that point in time my Moon time was finally returning back to me each month after I quit taking the ‘pill’ about a year prior to that.
At the time of the New Moon, when she moves from dark to a small sliver that can be seen against the night sky, I look back on the past cycle, on the past 28 days, I reflect and honor the importance of rest and pausing. And then, I breathe it all out. I focus on the new cycle, I set new intentions.
This summer has been wild. It felt like everything from a raging, wild fire to a very small and soft flickering candle. The last New Moon in July we had just moved out of our little cocoon in Rotterdam and had just embarked on our walking adventure. It was all about welcoming a new chapter, honoring the life/death/life cycle, feeling thankful for listening to my inner voice plus I focused a lot on letting go and releasing and their importance. Along with that I truly felt the desire to strengthen my inner core and roots.
Pictured below on the left a poem I wrote in honor of the New Moon in June. On the right a couple words I wrote down in honor of the New Moon in July.
And then, Mars Retrograde…, Mercury Retrograde showed themselves. Walking felt extremely grounding whenever we walked through the woods, everything I had been longing for. Tiny step by tiny step I could feel my inner roots growing. But along with that, somehow I also felt like I was swimming up against the current. How was this possible I kept asking myself? The decision had felt so extremely right. The answer I gave myself was that it was part of it. Beginnings can always be a bit tough, asking yourself all the questions, feeling doubtful, all that. Especially when embarking on something so physically challenging. But I couldn’t really shake it. As I kept on walking it was like my entire being was starting to say “alright, you aren’t listening? Let’s protest!” I got painful blisters but was like ‘they’ll disappear!’ and my body said ‘Nope!’ I had to make the decision to take a break because to keep on walking would just keep on making it worse and worse. My family came to visit us in Germany after we had walked about a 100 km and instead of a visit I went back with them. Tom continued the journey by himself and I was sure I was going to join him in no longer than a couple weeks. Tom called me one day and had been experiencing the same kind of swimming against the current -feeling. “I just have to start embarking on my journey of natural building. So I’m on my way back to the Netherlands in a blablacar.” Of course thoughts like what the fuck am I going to do? What the fuck do I want to do? And how the fuck am I going to be able to do them? showed themselves. I had to give them space so they were able to land, I had to become quiet, I had to listen. Looking back it is all a big OF COURSE. What a wild road to get from A to B, one full of lessons I have learned from. A summer full of movement. Recently, funny enough, I read these words on the Mercury Retrograde in Leo “people have a more bold and expressive style of communicating” and I couldn’t help but laugh.
I am reminding myself of the sacred act of resting and pausing. To enjoy the Summer, feeling the warmth on my skin and to take my time in answering my own questions. My heart knows which direction I want to move my whole entire being towards and each part of me knows to trust the Kosmos, Grandmother Moon, Mama Earth, Father Sun and myself during this transition and process. Slowly I have been putting things in motion again. Entirely for myself. That’s one of the things I feel most thankful for. For Tom and I being able to create space and time together for ourselves to follow our own personal interests and longings. We were looking for a way to do so and it has showed itself so organically.
And so the last eclipse of the year has come today. To me, eclipses might be the clearest ‘sign’ of new beginnings. July has been busy and now with this last one of the year it kinda feels like ‘do you see it now, finally?’ The past month has brought clarity. New beginnings is what this Summer is all about for me.
I will dive and plunge a little deeper into that soon but for now everything that felt like needed to flow outwards did. Goodnight and bathe in the magical energy of the New Moon.